Do I think I’m better than a Stripper?

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This post is inspired by a recent text I received. It read:

You give better lap dances than strippers

Um. ? What?

First of all, I’ve never given this person a lap dance. Unless he’s referring to me riding his dick as a lap dance. In which case uhhh YEA, of COURSE it’s better than a stripper because you were IN me…

Then I started thinking of all the other times guys I have been dating, or previously dated who have compared me to strippers:

I am at the strip club and I can’t get turned on by them because all I can think of is you

You are so much hotter than all of the strippers here

If you were a stripper I’d totally be a regular

Are they suppose to be compliments? I find it totally insulting. Not to mention I REALLY don’t need to know that’s where you are and what you’re doing on a Tuesday night. Ew. I’m irked by how pathetic the comments are… but also at how retarded it is to think that girls want to be compared to strippers.WE DON’T.

First of all, these guys genuinely seemed surprised that I was able to surpass the sexual powers of the all mighty stripper lady. If I shared a genuine connection with someone and we had raw, honest, and hot sex.. then YEA I AM gunna turn them on more than a stranger gyrating in front of them for dollars. Regardless of how hot she is.

So why are they surprised?!

But it’s more than that. Because if the texts had said “you are so much hotter than all these girls at the club” or “you are a way better dancer than all these girls here” (referring to a night club) then I would probably LIKE the texts and be like “damn right mawfaka“.

In fact, I’ve had an ex-boyfriend admit to me that after viewing time and time again some X-rated videos I made for him I “totally ruined porn for him“. And I liked that comment. Actually, I thought it was awesome.

Therefore, I have to regrettably admit that it’s something about being compared to a STRIPPER specifically that is insulting. And that makes me kinda uncomfortable. Who the fuck am I to judge the profession? If I am so open minded and accepting of different people and lifestyles, then why do I suddenly turn my nose up and act all fucking haughty when someone compares PRECIOUS DEAR LITTLE ME to a *Gasp* an ass shaking hussy ?!

Honestly, do I think I’m better than a stripper?

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I guess it’s suppose to be a compliment because it’s a strippers JOB to turn men on. And if you can do it better than someone who does it professionally, then you MUST be really good. Like if someone said to me “Wow my best friend is a pastry chef and this pie you made is the BEST pie I’ve ever tasted!” I’d think that was pretty darn nifty. And I honestly don’t mind being told I am good at turning someone on. (Well, if that someone is a current or former lover and not a random stranger). I like that, actually. I want to be able to do that. Really, who the fuck wants to have sex with someone and suck at being sexy?

As I continue to explain and muse over the situation, my insult and anger have dissipated. I still will not welcome future so-called compliments of this nature, but maybe I understand them more. As seemingly tasteless as they are, I THINK the heart of the senders were in the right place. They are just a bit dumb. So maybe I should just feel bad for them. Because being dumb is worse than being a stripper. I’m certain of that.

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