When Dudes Think You Owe Them Pussy

You’re dating a guy casually. You’re kinda bordering on the getting to know you-we’re kinda friends but we fuck category. And it’s cool. There are no expectations really, as you are just establishing exactly who this person is and how it’s going down.

Maybe you don’t want him to ever be your boyfriend. Maybe you do. Maybe you already have a boyfriend and this guy is just prettier to look at. Either way, you’re just figuring it all out. You text casually. You see each other maybe once/week. But probably less. And you are probably dating or talking to other guys, too. You’re thinking everything is peachy.

And then he asks you this question: “Have you been with anyone else since me?

*DJ CUTS THE MUSIC AND EVERYONE STOPS AND STARES*

“Bwoi WHAT did you just ask me?”

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No. Just no. Ladies, you DON’T need to answer this question. That motherfucker is trying to lock your pussy down with guilt while likely NOT extending the same courtesy to you.  Have you had the “We aren’t going to see anyone else talk” ? Have you had the “I will allow you to take weekly stock and inventory of the contents of my vagina” talk? NO? Then guess what? You don’t have to answer that question. It isn’t any of his business. And honestly, it’s not any of your business which flavours of fun dip he’s dabbing his little candy stick into, either. (But for the record it’s grape. Obviously).

Unless you’re ready to move into the next stage and consider what type of relationship you want with each other and discuss boundaries, then it’s fair game. Listen, even if you prefer to stick with one partner at a time and you’re answer is NO, that’s cool. But you don’t OWE him that no. You owe him nothing. Not even your pussy.

More than likely, the dude is asking you that because he likes you. And sure, why not? You’re pretty awesome. But just because you like someone… doesn’t mean they OWE you something. Also, more often than not they just want YOU to not fuck anyone else while they get to fly around like a horny honey bee and galavant from one vaginal flower to the next. Not cool, bro.

Another example.

I have a dude. He’s my friend, I guess. But he’s the type of friend only girls have. The guys we keep around we  pretend we are just friends with but all the while knowing  the dude is really digging us and waiting in the dark like a cobra…lurking…stalking…. just waiting for his chance to strike on dat azzzzzzzz….

Anyway. So we used to date. But now I have a new boyfriend. And this dude is always asking about other guys who aren’t my boyfriend. He asks me if I’m fucking them, and threatens that if I do, he will never talk to me again. It seems the young boy is convinced that IF and only IF that fateful day arrives where I make the choice to be unfaithful to my boyfriend (I wouldn’t hold your breath if I were you) than HE and only HE possesses the magical key that allows him to enter my garden of genitalia. (ugh. bad visual). It’s pretty damn ig’nant if you ask me. And I certainly have no intention of following through with it. Nor have I promised to.

In the mean time, while he’s coveting admittance into my lady bits, he gets to sleep with girls all the time and do as he damn well pleases. Do I tell him our friendship is contingent upon whom he grants sexual access to? Nope. Because I’m not a completely unreasonable dick. Also, I don’t really give a shit.

New rule: You’re not allowed to ask boyfriendly questions unless you are a boyfriend. Of the person in question. Commence implementation.

P.S. Take it from me and don’t google image “garden of genitalia”. I love you, internet… but sometimes, sometimes you make me do some weird shit….

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