On Being Choked
It wasn’t until I was about 21 or 22 that I actually realized people did this in a sexual context. I heard my friend mention to me about how her (abusive) boyfriend used to do that to her during sex… and I was, frankly, appalled! Mind you, their entire relationship was in the context of abuse and I had never really heard anyone else talk about doing this in bed. I felt bad for her. Was it rape? Was it sexual abuse? Who would WANT someone to do that to them in bed? It was NOT something I was into at all.
That is… until it became something I was totally fucking into.
For me is started one night in Montreal on a road trip with my then boyfriend. Him and I went to go visit a friend of mine who ended up getting hammered and starting a fight with about 6 guys twice his size. Him, my boyfriend and I ended up all getting into the scuffle and I was slapped across the face by one of the dudes causing my hoop earring to go flying off down the street while I continued screaming at him to go fuck himself. I was scared but also exhilarated and despite being in relative danger, I didn’t back down. And I guess deep down in a fucked up way, it totally turned me on.
The next morning I was having sex with my boyfriend and for some reason I asked him to slap me. He didn’t want to. But I coaxed him and told him to be gentle. So he reluctantly did. “Harder” I demanded. He did. Harder. He did. I came. I kissed him. And then I cried.
We both started laughing because I was like “I didn’t like that” and he was like “oh my god me neither but you made me! I love you so much, why did you make me do that?!“. Here I was trying to be all sexy and kinky only to end up being the one crying afterwards. What a pussy. We easily laughed it off.
Later on in the relationship as I grew more comfortable with him, however, I started to take things back there again. It started with him putting his hand on my neck as we kissed. I would take his forearm and hold it there and make sure he didn’t move it. I would force it down harder. Just him doing that while kissing me made me unbelievably wet. Before long it was something he did all the time. And I absolutely loved it.
I tend to be relatively dominant in all other areas of relationships so for him to take an uber-masculine and dominating role in the bedroom was exactly what I needed to remind me he was the “man”. To remind me he was strong, powerful, and, if he wanted to, he could hurt me. I needed to know he loved me. I needed him to make slow, passionate love to me. And then I needed him to choke me and make me do whatever the fuck he said. And then after tell me he wanted me to be his wife.
It was the juxtaposition between love and dominance, pain and pleasure that made it so fucking hot.
Now since I’m more comfortable with it I don’t need to be at the “I love you” stage to do have rough sex with new guys. I just need to make sure they respect me and understand what it means to be rough and dominant in a sexual context only and not try and over step the boundaries in the non-sexual aspect of our relationship. Thus far I haven’t had a problem.
I suppose this is on my mind because I have been utterly sex-starved as of late. I have quite the intense appetite and I am getting rather impatient. I need a man to charge in here (not just ANY man.. but I have a few in mind). Push me against a wall. Rip my clothes off. Literally. Rip them. Push me down. Hold me down. Hold my neck. Cover my mouth. Fuck me and talk dirty to me. Make me ask permission to cum. Hold me so I can’t move. Tell me I’m fucking beautiful. Tell me he’s gonna get me pregnant (I dunno why but I love when dudes say that shit during sex). Flip me over. Tease me. Make me beg for it. Look me in the eye as he controls how much and for how long I breathe.
Fuck. Okay I’ll stop now… sometimes I forget who reads this. Might have to text a girlfriend or two and advise that they skip this entry. Some things you just don’t need to know about your besticle (Bestie + testicle = besticle… get with it)…
Should I just find dude to have sex with in the meantime while I also look for a more meaningful relationship? Or will a purely sexual relationship impede my efforts and distract me from what I truly want?
HINT: I hope it’s the former.
I hear you!!! 😉
I knew you would you kinky little mynx
Just go easy, us girls can bruise like a peach!… http://datingdramasofathirtysomething.wordpress.com/2013/05/12/too-rough/
well, that was a highly entertaining post, but go for the lust and wild sex with some random fuck buddy… its never a bad thing to get off, and I’m sure it won’t deter you from finding a real guy, so it’s a win win situation as long as you keep it strictly physical.
Hahah I wanted that to be the answer! Thanks!
no problem… you have such a good blog… finally someone who speaks real shit
and THANKS! Glad u like it 😉
Yes yes yes a thousand times yes!!
All the things you wrote. Yum. I love that pain pleasure blurred lines thing.
Finding a guy that’s ok with it is a toughie sometimes though!
Yea i knoooo. I’ve found a few but they live long distance from me -a plane ride away is too far 😦
Yeah, i hear you! Though I’m going to take a plane ride to get some more lol
I could 100% have written this myself. I am dominant in the rest of my life too so I need the same as you in bed. Tried asking a guy to choke me once and he freaked out and tried (miserably) to do it. Is it too much to ask for a guy to batter you a bit! Haha (Currently going through a similar dry spell myself).
Hahaha I know right? Who’s ass do we have to kick to get a good as kicking around here?!
Too many pussies out there… maybe they should read a bit of 50 shades, I know the feminists hate it but it’s a great description of how girls love to be roughed up (the first book anyway!)
Isn’t it weird how we find being battered hot though? :p
It IS interesting. I would consider myself a feminist… Nothing wrong with rough sex if it’s consensual.. And sought after. As we are doing. For me the hotness comes from the sheer masculine energy and power. I don’t ALWAYS want to be dominated. Sometimes I’m not in the mood at all. But sometimes it’s hot to totally let go of power.. To release that power (and responsibility) and be vulnerable and helpless (relatively).
Yeah, that’s pretty much what I get from it too. Being tall it isn’t often I feel helpless, and it isn’t often I would allow it either. Sadly, I haven’t found anyone I can ask to do it in quite some time 😦
I LOVE bring choked. yes yes yes. and spanked, hair pulled. But I like to be on top.
☺️☺️
I’ve always been fond of a good choking. Just cause it feels like a dirty girl thing and sometimes that’s what I want to feel. Then a man did it perfectly with my orgasm and I haven’t left him since. A good choking is nice. A perfect one is something I beg for.
Haha awesome! Seems to be a theme among my readers. Choking lovers unite!
Thanks for sharing
I enjoy being choked too! But then one time took it too far when I noticed a broken blood vessel in my eye the next day. I really didn’t think we were playing that hard, but it was a reminder not to get too carried away.
Oh damn! Haha. That’s pretty intense.
Yes yes yes!!! It turns me on even when he just puts his hand on my neck. Anticipation, mm. I’ve accidentally gotten drunk and asked a guy to choke me during our first time together… multiple times. Oops.
Oh i’ve definitely done that too! Lol. Most of the responses have been good tho Haha
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well most of the guyz do not like to treat their girlfriend as a whore,,,,,but if its a random sex with some random chicks then probably yeah,,,,,,we love it too,,,,,
i was caught off guard by my last boyfriend and yes, it’s pretty appealing! 😉
I all but creamed my panties reading this. I am so D-prived as of late and I am definitely too familiar of wanting mind blowing sex and not wanting to sleep with a random.
Hahaha awesome!